Licked

I have been licked twice by strangers at shows. Coincidentally, both shows were Guided By Voices concerts.

The first was a GBV show at Columbus heavy metal venue, Alrosa Villa. Opening up for GBV were longtime local favorites Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments and New Bomb Turks. The Slave Apartments came on before I was officially licked.

My friends and I were stationed right in front of the stage as was usual for me in my college years. New Bomb Turks' front man Eric Davidson made a b-line for the fresh-faced boy in the indie rock t-shirt: me. Before I knew it, Davidson licked the side of my face (or licked his hand and wiped it on my face - I've never really been sure). The band continued to play with the Iggy-like singer belting away some punk rock poetry.

It was either later in the song or another song all together when Davidson returned to my spot in front of the stage. He leaned over and began pointing frenetically at his cheek. I looked at him and then to my friends. No one knew what he wanted from me. I didn't either, but I reacted anyway by licking the man's sweaty face.

My friends were horrified, especially my girlfriend, but I didn't really care.

The second time I was licked at a rock show was a couple years later at a GBV show in Dayton.

I was down to my last two cigarettes when a woman who had been taking pictures on the stage asked me for one of those cancer sticks. She appeared to be some mid-to-upper-thirties groupie who had probably seen some wild parties in her days. I protested, but she said that she'd make it worth my while. I told her not to bother and that she could just have the cigarette free of charge.

I handed her the cigarette and she asked me for a light. I promptly held up my lighter but had to take it back when I realized the drunkard was holding the cigarette backwards. Against my better judgment, I turned the cigarette around the right way and lit if for her.

The woman was so appreciative that she reached for my head to lay one on me. I quickly turned my head only to receive the painful shock of her tongue half way down my ear canal.

My friends pointed and laughed. There aren't enough Q-tips in the world to clean the slobber of an over-the-hill groupie-photographer-wannabe from one's ear.

Guided By Voices rocked both nights, by the way.

Thurston and Lee in an Alley

The day after seeing Sonic Youth open for Wilco (Jim O'Rourke-palooza) in Cleveland, I got to meet Thurston Moore and Lee Ranaldo in an alley.

We had just finished eating dinner at Bento A Go Go in Columbus and a buddy of mine (now in The Sun) claimed to have seen Sonic Youth inside, ordering bento boxes. This was highly likely since Sonic Youth was playing that night, next door in the Newport (the US's longest running rock club).

We left Bento by driving down the alley behind the Newport when we saw them. It was Thurston and Lee just standing there, signing autographs. My sister, who also attended the show on the previous night, and I were too afraid to approach our heroes, but my crazy friend Nicki was not.

Nicki made us pull over and she leaped out of the car to meet these two guys she had never heard of. After we watched Nicki talk to T & L for a few minutes, she ran over and told us that they wanted to meet us.

Except for my wedding, I've never felt so nervous in my life. All that I could muster was "You guys were good last night". This was my chance to ask about stories of playing for the first time with Steve Shelley behind the drum kit in Columbus or letting underage fans into clubs on Lee's id. I wanted to talk about how they rebuilt their instruments from scratch in order to make their unique sound only to have these same instruments stolen while on tour. I had tons of things I wanted to know but no gumption to speak up.

Nicki, on the other hand, had no problem. She asked what the "pace" button on Lee's shirt meant. She asked how tall Thurston was and about his daughter. Coco. She explained that she had never heard their music before but was way more into folk. She went on and on, and T & L thought she was fascinating.

Now, I know what you're thinking: The only reason Nicki was so comfortable with T & L was because she didn't know who they were. Well, that ain't the case. I witnessed Nicki go right up to Joan Baez at a peace rally and hug her. She's had heart-to-heart conversations with Ani DiFranco and Tori Amos. Nothing phases her.

After Nicki and 2/5 (O'Rourke was with them) of Sonic Youth chatted it up in the alley, the guys signed my sister's Sonic Youth tote bag and we sulked away. I doubt I'll get a chance to talk to them again, but at least I had a chance.

Isaac Brock at Sudsy Malone's

I've met Isaac Brock, the front man of Billboard darlings Modest Mouse.

It was a crisp November in 1997 at Cincinnati's Sudsy Malone's. Sudsy Malone's is a great bar/club/laundromat (yes, I wrote "laundromat") that's located in an artsy neighborhood of the Queen City. There's a cool, old-style bar with plenty of selection, a lax doorman, a stage with its back to the front window, and several washers and dryers in the rear. We arrived early - before the doorman was even ready - and hung out, waiting for the show.

The bands did not disappoint. I sat atop the bar as 764-HERO and Modest Mouse collaborated for "Whenever You See Fit". Soon after this show-stopper, MM played a raucous set. We were plenty satisfied.

Although the band mostly played new material, a girl who traveled with us talked Brock into playing "All Night Diner" even though he was tired of the song. It didn't hurt that the girl was cute.

We got a chance to chat with Eric and Jeremiah who were rather pleasant fellows. They asked what I bought from the merch table. So, I proudly showed off my new Mouse t-shirt and a 7". The record was "Birds vs. Worms" which Jeremiah didn't really care for, but we all agreed that the packaging (pressed on marbled powder blue vinyl in a translucent, rice paper sleeve) was really cool. According to Wikipedia, there were only 500 of these singles pressed.

We hit the John and headed out the door for our hour drive back to Dayton. As we made our way up the street, we saw Brock with this woman hanging all over him. Brock had had conversations at previous shows with this guy, Adam, that was with us who was wheelchair-bound (MS I think). The two acquaintances shared a common interest in having beat poetry and Buddhist imagery tattooed all over their arms.

Brock promptly stopped us and told the woman that he needed to talk to us since he hadn't seen us in a long time. After exchanging pleasantries, Brock invited us back to the bar for some drinks. I talked to him about seeing Modest Mouse in Columbus the year before. He remembered being weirded out about playing a bagel and beer joint, but he loved that night's opener, Tiara.

Our group re-entered Sudsy's, and Brock headed to the bar for those promised beers. He returned with a beer in each hand. He handed (the three of) us one and kept the other for himself.

The rest of our discussion was dominated by Brock insisting that we find a dance club that was still open at 2:30 AM. This was Cincinnati, not New York. We eventually left a little star-struck.